not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Woke up backwards on a recliner
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
