he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
even my farts smell like vagina
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
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