dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
My ATM looks so different sober.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
