I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
