This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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