Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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