We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
