i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
