I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I need to align my fucking chakras
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