dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
