I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
