Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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