i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
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