i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
