she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
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