yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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