its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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