and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
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I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
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day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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