Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Randomize
