Your tits are I can't wait for
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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