I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
