I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize