dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
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I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
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Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
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