how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
