I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
You're my little dorito
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Randomize
