miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
They took my balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize