Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
