Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
