if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
