I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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