dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Randomize
