Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
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