I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
