i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
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