I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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