I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize