Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
