I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
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