What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
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