Can i not drive my cunt home
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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