I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
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We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
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My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
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