I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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