once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Randomize
