Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize