my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
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