I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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