they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
God I need to hump something, right now.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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