I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
