i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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