I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
