Swine flu. Run for my life!
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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