nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
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He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
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