Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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