is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
