do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
