do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
