when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I want you more than these girls want KFC
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
