get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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