Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
