next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
You're breaking my sexual little heart
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
